Micro Noises '71: Swanning Hawks
The spirit of '71 - Hawks beat a team beginning with S
We weren't sure who we were thinking would win in the Grand Final before it began but in hindsight we should have known! Hawthorn indeed came to the party and paid a wonderful tribute to the 71st edition of Micro Noises by doing just as it did in '71, defeating a team beginning with the letter S. (The Hawks beat St Kilda in the 1971 Grand Final). And going back further in time to when these two teams met in 2012, we can see now that the Hawks even gave us a clue that they wouldn't be winning the Grand Final against Sydney that year. The Grand Final edition of Micro Noises in 2012 was number 17, the reverse of '71, so of course they were going to lose!
The Grand Final by the numbers - and letters
- Hawthorn's back-to-back flags means that premiership coaches whose surnames begin with C have flown up the charts in the last couple of years. Nine flags have now been won under the guidance of a "C". Three of those belong to Alastair Clarkson, two to Norm Clark (Carlton), two to John Coleman (Essendon), one to Albert Chadwick (Essendon) and one to Charlie Clymo (in his one and only year as coach of Geelong. The leader, with 17 flags, is still the letter M, with McHale, Matthews, Malthouse and Minogue all contributors.
17 - M (McHale 8, Matthews 4, Malthouse 3, Minogue 2)
15 - H (Hughes 5, Hafey 4, Hickey 3, Holden 1, Howsen 1, Hughson 1)
13 - B (Barassi 4, Bentley 3, Barker 2, Blight 2, Belcher 1, Bisset 1)
12 - S (Smith 6, Sheedy 4, Scott 1, Sutton 1)
9 - C (Clarkson 3, Clark 2, Coleman 2, Chadwick 1, Clymo 1)
8 - W (Worrall 5, Walls 1, Williams 1, Worsfold 1)
7 - J (Jeans 3, Joyce 2, Jesaulenko 1, Jewell 1); P (Parkin 4, Pagan 2, Parratt 1); R (Reynolds 4, Rankin 1, Ricketts 1, Roos 1)
5 - K (Kennedy 3, Kyne 2) 3 - D (Davis 1, Diggins 1, Dyer 1)
2 - T (Thompson)
1 - A (Angus); L (Longmire); N (Nicholls)
0 - E, F, G, I, O, Q, U, V, X, Y, Z
- Hawthorn's winning score of 21.11 gave us the first ever appearance of the score 137 in a VFL or AFL Grand Final. It was also the highest Grand Final score since Geelong's 24.19.163 against Port Adelaide in 2007, and the sixth occurrence of a side kicking 21 goals in a premiership decider. Amazingly, two of those six were in the same match, the 1989 Grand Final, which saw the Hawks' 21.18 defeat Geelong's 21.12.
- The Hawks made it three Grand Finals in four years in which the winner has scored 11 behinds. Alastair Clarkson's men kicked 11.11 to defeat Fremantle last year and Geelong kicked 18.11 to defeat Collingwood in 2011.
- Sydney's losing score of 11.8 made it the third Grand Final total of 74 in history but the first losing one. St Kilda's 1966 premiership was won with a score of 10.14 while Collingwood won the 1917 flag with 9.20. Following that trend, the next time a team scores 74 in a Grand Final, it will be via the combination of 12.2.
- The Swans became the fourth team in eight Grand Finals to finish with eight behinds. St Kilda kicked 10.8 in the drawn 2010 Grand Final, Geelong kicked 12.8 to win a year earlier and Port Adelaide managed 6.8 in their thrashing at the hands of Geelong in 2007. The previous appearance of eight behinds prior that was when West Coast kicked 13.8 against Hawthorn in 1991.
- Despite making their debuts in 2014, Derek Wanganeen and Alex Woodward must have known through the year that they were long odds to be part of a winning Hawthorn Grand Final team. The Hawks followed their own winning template of last year and Sydney's of 2012 by not having any Grand Final player with a surname beginning with a letter beyond S. It would have been a controversial move, but perhaps John Longmire would have been well advised not to have played Kurt Tippett last Saturday.
- The Grand Final win was the second in history by a margin of 63 points, after Essendon's 22.18.150 to 13.9.87 victory over Melbourne in 1946.
- It was a warm Grand Final day, the 12th-warmest on record in fact, with a maximum of 23.4 degrees. The warmest remains the 1987 decider between Carlton and Hawthorn, when the mercury peaked at 30.9.
First among unequals
The 2014 Grand Final may have been the 14,580th match in VFL/AFL history but it was the first one ever to finish with a final score of 137-74.
Score Wars
With 137 making its third appearance, and 74 its seventh, in the Grand Final, 94 is left as the winner of the 2014 Score Wars battle, having come up 11 times in 2014, one clear of 87, 91 and 98, and two ahead of 76, 79 and 81. 112 was the only score between 50 and 120 not seen this season.
The Marginal Medal
The Grand Final difference of 63 points was the fourth appearance of the margin this year, the most common of any margin greater than 50, but nowhere near this year's Marginal Medal winner, 8 points, which came up nine times in 2014, one more than 3 points and 7 points. The only margin fewer than 40 not recorded this season was 37, last seen in round 19, 2013.
Year of the week
The writing was on the wall for the Swans at quarter time on Saturday. They trailed 15-35, reminding many spectators - well, us at least - of the Hanseatic navy, defeated by the combined Swedish and Danish fleets in the Battle of Bornholm, which of course was in 1535.
Postcode of the week
And speaking of battles, the Swans were in retreat mode virtually from the time the quarter-time siren sounded. They trailed 2.3 to 5.5 and 2355 is fittingly the postcode of Retreat.
Ridiculous Grand Final anagrams
The Grand Final was preceded by some quality entertainment from Ed Sheeran and Sir Tom Jones, with the two even performing one song together, making it appropriate that ED AND TOM is an anagram of DO TANDEM. THE TWENTY FOURTEEN GRAND FINAL teams then came onto the field and followed the script of its anagram - ENTER. FUN. TRY TO WIN A FLAG. THE END. And for good measure, SIR TOM JONES performed after the presentations to make sure there was some "oomph" injected into the evening, making him an apt anagram of INSERT MOJO.
Micro Noises is Andrew Gigacz's regular, quirky look at all things footy. The name Micro Noises is an anagram of Enrico Misso, who played one game for St Kilda in 1985. He remains the only Enrico and the only Misso to have played footy at the highest level.
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