Micro Noises 109: Fixture forecasts
AFL's anti-Hawthorn Doggedness
The 2016 AFL fixture has been released, confirming that the Hawthorn v Western Bulldogs round one drought will continue for another year at least. As we pointed out at this time last year, the two sides have not met in an opening round since 1962, when Footscray beat the Hawks by 33 points, turning the tables on the previous year's Grand Final result. Perhaps the AFL is waiting until the two sides meet again in a Grand Final before granting them a round one meeting again. Based on Hawthorn's seemingly perennial success, and the rapid improvement shown by the Dogs this year, that day might not be too far away.
Carlton for the flag!
Could Carlton go from 18th to premiers in the space of just one season? New Blue coach Brendon Bolton would probably like to think so but to entertain thoughts of such a turnaround is probably a bit of a stretch. However, the AFL, who would undoubtedly be keen for the former powerhouse club to return to something approaching its former glory, have offered the Blues a helping hand by scheduling Sydney to meet Collingwood in round one of 2016. How does that help Carlton? Well, the Swans and Magpies have not clashed in an opening round since 1987 and that was the season the Blues defeated Hawthorn by 33 points in what was until this year the warmest Grand Final in history.
And while it might seem rather a tenuous link, we actually weren't very far away from predicting this year's Grand Final combatants at about this time last year. Based on the 2015 season starting in April for the first time since 1978, we predicted a Hawthorn v North Melbourne Grand Final this year, and while Hawthorn made it to the 'big dance', the Roos failed to do so. But not by much - North led by as much as 20 points in the Preliminary Final before eventually going down to West Coast. On that basis, while the Blues might not win the 2016 flag, they are good things to make the Preliminary Finals!
Drawing a long bow
Drawn games are a pretty rare event in Australian football. In 119 VFL/AFL seasons, there have been 154 draws, a rate of not much more than one per season. To get two draws in the one round is even rarer. In the VFL/AFL, it's happened five times, in 1911, 1914, 1921, 1944 and 1977. But what about two draws in the one round where all four teams end up on the same score? The odds of that occurring must surely be astronomical. Well if you'd taken those odds this season in the WAFL's reserves comp, you'd have well and truly enough to retire on by now, because that extraordinarily unlikely occurrence came to pass earlier this year.
In round 14 on June 27th at Arena Joondalup, West Perth's reserves finished in 11.7.73, tying with Subiaco seconds' 10.13.73. On the very same day at Rushton Park, Peel Thunder's 'twos' also kicked 11.7.73, while their opponents, Perth reserves, kicked 9.19.73. FOUR teams scoring 73 in THREE different ways to record TWO draws is surely a ONE in a zillion event. We're not aware of it occurring in this or any other league before. If you know of a case, please let us know via our comments section below.
Trading in anagrams
THE AFL'S TRADE PERIOD has come and gone. It's a great chance for players to try and get to the club of their choice without having to try their luck in the draft, making it an appropriate anagram of HE IS TO DEAL PRE-DRAFT.
Early on in the piece THE FORMER WEST COAST EAGLE SCOTT SELWOOD signed a contract with Geelong, an almost inevitable state of affairs given that he is an anagram of "CLAWS? MEOWS? O! SETTLED! THEREFORE GO TO CATS". One move that we incorrectly thought was inevitable was Gold Coast making a play for PAUL SEEDSMAN, mainly because he's an anagram of SUNS MADE PLEA. We got that one wrong though, and he ended up at the Crows. Of course if his name was PAUL P. SEEDSMAN, we would have guessed the move, because that's an anagram of ADEL. SNAPS ME UP.
Meanwhile, the Crows and Geelong AGREED ON a deal involving DEAN GORE, while COURTENAY DEMPSEY may have looked elsewhere, but ended up seeing Essendon as a good place to stay, as an anagram of DONS CAPTURE MY EYE. Freo gave troubled ex-Sun Harley Bennell a new home, perhaps inspired by THE GOLD COAST SUNS' HARLEY BENNELL being an anagram of TENDENCY: HE RUNS BALL, HE SLOTS GOAL.
The trade period wasn't without controversy. Hours after he landed at St Kilda, footage of Jake Carlisle allegedly snorting a white powder emerged on television. As a timely reminder to all players, we point out that EX-DON JAKE CARLISLE is an anagram of COKE JINXES ALL, DEAR. Questions were also asked about Adam Treloar's actions, after he had surgery without informing his team at the time, GWS. So, was the eventual ADAM TRELOAR deal with Collingwood above board? Well he is an anagram of A MORAL TRADE. Or should that be AMORAL TRADE?
Some people thought the Crows might have pulled the wool over Carlton's eyes in obtaining Troy Menzel for a round-two selection and SAM KERRIDGE, who is an anagram of "AGREED" {SMIRK} but the Blues then used that round-two pick to net quite a few Giants so they may yet be the winners in that deal.
CHRIS YARRAN ended up at Richmond and to make things perfect in the AFL, all we need now is someone named HARRY CAIRNS to be drafted so we can have two players who are anagrams of each other. They wouldn't be the first, though. Geelong skipper JOEL SELWOOD is in fact an anagram of a former Cat, JOE SELLWOOD.
The last couple of days of the period saw quite a few deals done. Those last hours are always fraught, with teams having to place a fair bit of faith in each other to get a mutually beneficial trade done. How fitting then, that LAST MINUTE TRADES is an anagram of TEAMS DEAL IN TRUST.
Micro Noises is Andrew Gigacz's regular, quirky look at all things footy. The name Micro Noises is an anagram of Enrico Misso, who played one game for St Kilda in 1985. He remains the only Enrico and the only Misso to have played footy at the highest level.
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