Micro Noises 164: 86 seconds
Secret agent 86
Readers who are old enough will remember that 86 was the bumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart in the 1960s TV Show Get Smart. Well times have changed and these days 86 is the number of points by which Hawthorn get smashed. At least, that's how it's been for the last two weeks, with the Hawks losing by 86 points to Gold Coast in round three and following that up with a loss to Geelong by exactly the same margin last Monday.
We've done a little bit of research and discovered that Hawthorn and 86-point losses aren't just recent bedfellows. In fact they've been 'best friends' since the very first V/AFL match to be decided by that margin back in 1929. On that day the Mayblooms, as they were then, were thrashed to tune of 86 points by the Collingwood Machine, on its way to the third of its four successive flags.
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That was the the first of 39 league matches to have been decided by 86 points, and 10 of those 39 have seen Hawthorn on the receiving end, a disproportionate 26%. As can be seen in the terrible table (if you're a Hawthorn fan) at right, the Hawks seem to reserve losses of this magnitude for certain opponents. Monday's loss was Hawthorn's second by that margin to Geelong, and the Hawks have been walloped by 86 points three time each by Collingwood and Adelaide.
The 10 out of 39 specialists
Now, while some of you Hawthorn fans out there might be lamenting your team's disproportionate number of thrashings by 86 points, we'd just like to remind you that while the Hawks have lost 10 out of the 39 matches decided by 86 points, they've also won 10 of the last 39 premierships! Now that's disproportionate!
Can the Hawks do it again?
While we're not keen to dance on Hawthorn's grave, there are a fair few non-Hawks out there who are, so for them, we offer a tantalising possibility, based on the events of last year. To refresh your memory, Hawthorn went through rounds three to five in 2016 winning by the same margin - three points - each week. This year the Hawks have lost by exactly 86 points in rounds three and four. Can they 'reverse' repeat? We'll find out on Sunday when they host West Coast at the MCG.
If it's any consolation...
Look, we are feeling just slightly bad about sinking the boots into Hawthorn, so here's some good news for you Hawkers out there. 86 points is not the highest losing margin to have been recorded consecutively by a team. That record belongs to the Brisbane Bears, who lost two matches in a row by 101 points in rounds 19 and 20 back in 1991. In even better news for the Hawks, 86 isn't even second on the list. Sydney lost consecutive matches in 1993 by 92 points, albeit separated by a bye in round 16.
Milestone of the week
In the process of inflicting Hawthorn's second consecutive 86-point loss on Monday, Geelong set a scoring milestone, registering the 50th instance in V/AFL history of a final score of 20.14.134. The score was first recorded by Richmond back in 1920, and four of the last six instances of it have been registered by the Cats.
The 164 club
Speaking of milestones, this week marks our milestone 164th edition of Micro Noises¹, and to celebrate, here's a list of the 12 V/AFL players to have racked up 164 games. Which of the players below would you say was the stand-out of the dozen? We've posed that question on Twitter and Facebook and so far there's been a lot of love for Jimmy Buckley, with a little bit for Ricky Quade. but australianfootball.com's founder and Editor-At-Large votes Fred Hughson as the pick of the crop, ahead of Frank 'Bluey' Adams and George Holden. Have your say in the comments section below, on Twitter, or on our Facebook page.
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Postcode of the week
North Melbourne finally got its wish last week, being awarded a match on Good Friday against the Western Bulldogs. The Kangaroos have, of course, been lobbying for the chance to host a game on Good Friday since way, way back, and to acknowledge that fact, they recorded quarter-time and half-time scores of 2.4 and 4.7. And we don't have to tell you that 2447 is the postcode of Way Way.
Ridiculous footy anagram of the week
Fans are fickle and some of Hawthorn's are already calling for the head of coach Alastair Clarkson, despite the fact that he's led the Hawks to four flags in the last 10 years. But that's the nature of footy and letting the fans have their say is all part of the fun, a fact neatly summed up by CROAKY HAWKS CANNOT LAND A WIN being an anagram of I WANNA SACK CLARKO - AND WHY NOT?
Micro Noises is Andrew Gigacz's regular, quirky look at all things footy. The name Micro Noises is an anagram of Enrico Misso, who played one game for St Kilda in 1985. He remains the only Enrico and the only Misso to have played footy at the highest level.
Footnotes
1. Okay, maybe 164 isn't much of a milestone but who are we to pass up an opportunity to celebrate!?
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