Micro Noises 87: If you gotta go...
If you gotta go, go now
KANE CORNES has announced that he will retire immediately after playing his 300th match for Port Adelaide in a couple of weeks. And despite the murmurings, there's no truth to the rumour that his retirement has been hastened by his anagram, A SORE NNECK, or his other anagram, SCAR ON KNEE. No, Cornes cites an opportunity for a career change (he is to become a fireman) and a loss of form as the main motivation behind his decision.
Some commentators have suggested that Cornes is being a little bit selfish in hanging on until playing his 300th game before saying goodbye. Here at Micro Noises, we don't agree with that angle at all. But we do urge Kane to consider hanging up the boots immediately after Port's match against Brisbane this Sunday - or perhaps even now!
By retiring on exactly 300 games, Cornes won't be taking the selfish route - quite the opposite in fact. In doing so he will wind up sharing his games total with seven other champions of the game: Francis Bourke, Barry Breen, Garry Foulds, Mick Martyn, Kelvin Moore, Sam Newman and Rohan Smith. Kane, we implore you to walk away from the AFL now or next week and become the first player in history to end a career with a games total of 298 or 299. You are a unique player deserving of a unique place in history.
Should you accept our advice and retire on 299, you'll also be leaving 298, 296 and 295 the only as games totals below 300 on which no player has ended their career.
Double Blues register only a single blue in front of goal
Sturt might have lost its place in the SANFL's top five in losing to Port Adelaide last Saturday, but at least the Double Blues set a record in the process. From 12 scoring shots, Sturt managed 11 goals, an accuracy percentage of 91.67, making it the Double Blues' straightest shooting performance in their 115 seasons in the SANFL (based on a minimum of 10 scoring shots). Interestingly, Sturt's previous most accurate effort was also against Port, and also at Alberton Oval. The Double Blues' five most accurate performances in history are listed below. A full list of Sturt's sharpshooting achievements can be found here.
SCORE | ACCURACY | OPPONENT AND SCORE | VENUE | ROUND/YEAR |
11.1.67 | 91.67% | Port Adelaide 10.15.75 | Alberton Oval | R6, 2015 |
20.3.123 | 86.96% | Port Adelaide 16.18.114 | Alberton Oval | R3, 2007 |
11.2.68 | 84.62 | West Adelaide 12.21.93 | Unley Oval | R13, 1958 |
15.3.93 | 83.33 | South Adelaide | Jubilee Oval | R10, 1910 |
10.2.62 | 83.33 | South Adelaide | Unley Oval | R11, 1901 |
First among unequals
Saturday night's Melbourne-Sydney clash at the MCG was a largely forgettable affair for all other than perhaps Swans' fans, with Sydney leading all night to record a comfortable 38-point win. But the 28,894 fans at the ground did at least witness the creation of a new record, with the match providing the first final score of 88 versus 50 in 14,634 VFL/AFL matches.
Score Wars - 78 loses, then wins and now leads the way
For the second time in season 2015, 78 had been registered as a final score twice in one round. On Saturday it was a losing score for Gold Coast against Adelaide and on Sunday a winning total for West Coast against the other South Australian team, Port Adelaide. That makes it the most common score of the year so far. It has now been seen five times, one more than 105.
The Marginal Medal
Brisbane's first win of the season was the fourth occurrence of a nine-point margin in 2015. Nine points has a lead of one over 10 points, which came up twice as a margin in round six and has now been recorded three times for the season. 41 points, 28 points, 27 points, 21 points, 8 points, 7 points and 2 points have each occurred twice.
Year of the week
Geelong's first quarter against Collingwood last Friday night was one out of the box. While most footy fans acknowledge that the Cats are still a pretty good side, the way they dismantled the Magpies in the first 10 minutes of the match was predicted by very few. It reminded us a lot of the Battle of Baesweiler, in which Brabant was unexpectedly defeated by the Duchy of Jülich. And in hindsight, perhaps that's not so surprising, given that Collingwood trailed 1.3 to 7.1 at quarter time and the Battle of Baesweiler was in 1371.
Postcode of the week
North Melbourne went along way towards sending Richmond's season down the chute at Bellerive Oval last Saturday. And just to rub that fact in, the Kangaroos did so by scoring, 3, 3, 7 and 3 goals across their four quarters against the Tigers. 3373 is, of course, the postcode of Chute.
ZIP code of the week
Hawthorn coaching Alastair Clarkson finds himself in unfamiliar territory after six rounds of the 2015 season. The Hawks are sitting as low as eighth on the ladder after losing to GWS last Saturday night and, while the 98-108 defeat might not have caused Clarkson's nights this week to be sleepless, we couldn't help noticing that 98108 is the US ZIP code of Seattle.
Ridiculous footy anagram of the week
As we head into round seven of AFL action, Simpsons' fans have been shocked in the last 24 hours by the news that Harry Shearer, the voice of Ned Flanders and Monty Burns among others on the very popular animated series, will apparently no longer be part of the show after a disagreement with the producers. It seems to us that the timing of this announcement - which has left many Simpsons-loving footy fans flummoxed - is rather poignant, given that THE AFL'S ROUND SEVEN BEGINS TODAY is an anagram of "GIVES NED FLANDERS BOOT?" "YEAH - NUTS!"
Micro Noises is Andrew Gigacz's regular, quirky look at all things footy. The name Micro Noises is an anagram of Enrico Misso, who played one game for St Kilda in 1985. He remains the only Enrico and the only Misso to have played footy at the highest level.
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