Micro Noises 191: Getting Drafty
I can feel a draft
Well the AFL National Draft has been run and 'won' for another year and the 2017 winner is... Cameron Rayner! In last week's Micro Noises we speculated that Brisbane would take either Andrew Brayshaw or Rayner and in the end the Lions plumped for the latter. And that's probably not a bad thing for them - CAMERON RAYNER will be around for a long time if his name is anything to go by - it's an anagram of MY CAREER RAN ON.
Brayshaw didn't have to wait long for his turn; he was picked up by Fremantle with the second pick of the draft. But that wasn't the end of the Brayshaw story. Andrew's brother Hamish was taken with pick 68 by the West Coast Eagles, so as far as the Brayshaw family is concerned, the Hamish and Andy Show will continue to air, but will be moving to Perth. Meanwhile, the Eagles snared local boy OSCAR ALLEN with an earlier pick (21), but that was to be expected. He is, after all, an anagram of SNARE LOCAL.
Third selection of the draft was Paddy Dow. He was taken by Carlton, which made us very happy because when he joins Liam Jones in the side, the Blues will be able to measure their combined influence in any particular game using a new metric, the Dow-Jones Index.
With pick 4, North Melbourne took Luke Davies-Uniake, who we are told goes by the moniker 'LDU'. Now that he's part of a professional football club, he's unlikely to be doing much drinking but we couldn't help but wonder if his favourite alcoholic beverage brand is UDL.
Pick 5 was another one for Freo, and the Dockers used it to take ADAM CERRA. We reckon he'll be definite contender for Mark of the Year sooner or later, given he's an anagram of A DREAM CAR.
The X-Man cometh
For most footy fans, the most exciting part of the AFL National Draft comes with the early picks - and that's perfectly understandable. The top five we revealed above are about to become household footy names and probably superstars. Nevertheless, nothing made us anywhere near as excited as when North Melbourne made the 72nd pick of the draft. The Kangaroos used it to take Tristan Xerri. When Xerri makes his debut for North, he will become the very first player in the AFL (and there have been 12,520 so far) to have a surname beginning with X. To us that was by far the most X-cellent news of the night.
My word! More draft highights!
* Carlton used pick 10 to take LOCHIE O'BRIEN, and although he is a high pick, we hope the Blues don't expect him to be some kind of Six Million Dollar Man, even if he is an anagram of "BIONIC ROLE, EH?"
* We were a bit surprised when Fremantle used pick 65 to select Thomas North. And despite our hopes, we were disappointed to learn that North did not select Thomas Fremantle.
* Hawthorn took DYLAN MOORE with pick 67. Our anagrammatic expectation is that he will play some kind of DYNAMO ROLE for the Hawks.
* With selection 69, Fremantle selected Lloyd Meek. We're not sure how Meek will go on the football field, but we do expect him to inherit the Earth at some stage.
* Melbourne will be expecting big things from HARRISON PETTY, who they took with pick 37. They might even believe he can bring a premiership into the Melbourne Football Club rooms. Not only is he 40% of the Traveling Wilburys,¹ he's also an anagram of INSERT A TROPHY.
* Port Adelaide used pick 51 to take KANE FARRELL. He is seen midfielder or forward, but we reckon he could be (anagrammatically, at least) a REAL FLANKER.
* Essendon used the third-last pick of the draft - selection 76 - to take MATT GUELFI. We're not sure if he'll ever lift a premiership cup but he is, at least, an anagram of LIFT TEA MUG.
* The Blues will be hoping that Angus Schumacher, who they took with pick 70, will be a driving force for them, while Port Adelaide used pick 60 to take Joel Garner - to which we say: that's just not cricket!
A family affair
Along with the Brayshaws, there were a few otherv family connections. The Bulldogs took Ed Richards with pick 16, and he is the grandson of Ron Richards. Ron Richards actually played 12 games for the Dogs in the 1950s but Ed is not the grandson of that Ron Richards. No, as galling as it might be for Magpie fans, he's the grandson of the Ron Richards who played 143 games for Collingwood, and who was, of course, the brother of the great Lou Richards.
Other draft family ties include Brandon Starcevich, the nephew of former Magpie and Bear Craig Starcevich, Patrick Naish, the son of Tiger Chris, and Tyler Brown, another son of Magpie Gavin, and the brother of Callum.
Postcode of the week
The way the draft panned out the Suns' last and second-last picks were 55 and 52. And that's just the way it shoukd have been, given that 5552 is the postcode of Sunnyvale.
Ridiculous footy anagram of the week
Haven't we provided you with enough anagrams already? Okay, we'll leave you with a reminder of the fact that for all the science, planning and research that goes into the AFL Draft, it can still be a bit of a raffle. To back that up, we point out that THE AFL PLAYER DRAFT is an anagram of RAFFLED THAT PLAYER.
Micro Noises is Andrew Gigacz's regular, quirky look at all things footy. The name Micro Noises is an anagram of Enrico Misso, who played one game for St Kilda in 1985. He remains the only Enrico and the only Misso to have played footy at the highest level.
THE DRAFT IN FULL:
Pick | Club | Note | Full Name | Origin Club | Junior Club |
1 | Brisbane Lions | Cameron Rayner | Western Jets | Hillside | |
2 | Fremantle | Andrew Brayshaw | Sandringham Dragons | Hampton Rovers FC | |
3 | Carlton | Paddy Dow | Bendigo Pioneers | Swan Hill FC | |
4 | North Melbourne | Luke Davies - Uniacke | Dandenong Stingrays | Rye FC | |
5 | Fremantle | Adam Cerra | Eastern Ranges | Norwood | |
6 | Collingwood | Jaidyn Stephenson | Eastern Ranges | Ferntree Gully Eagles | |
7 | St Kilda | Hunter Clark | Dandenong Stingrays | Mount Martha FC | |
8 | St Kilda | Nicholas Coffield | Northern Knights | Eltham | |
9 | Western Bulldogs | Aaron Naughton | Peel Thunder | Rockingham FC | |
10 | Carlton | Lochie O'Brien | Bendigo Pioneers | South MilduraFC | |
11 | GWS Giants | Aiden Bonar | Dandenong Stingrays | SeafordFC | |
12 | Adelaide Crows | Darcy Fogarty | Lucindale FC . | Lucindale FC | |
13 | West Coast Eagles | Jarrod Brander | Bendigo Pioneers | Wentworth District FC | |
14 | Sydney Swans | Matthew Ling | Geelong Falcons | St Mary's | |
15 | Brisbane Lions | Zac Bailey | Norwood | Southern Districts | |
16 | Western Bulldogs | Edward Richards | Oakleigh Chargers | Hawthorn Citizens FC | |
17 | Richmond | Jack Higgins | Oakleigh Chargers | East Malvern FC | |
18 | Brisbane Lions | Brandon Starcevich | East Perth | East Perth | |
19 | Gold Coast Suns | Wil Powell | Claremont | Scarborough FC | |
20 | Richmond | Callum Coleman-Jones | Sturt | Unley FC | |
21 | West Coast Eagles | Oscar Allen | West Perth | Whitford FC | |
22 | Geelong Cats | Lachlan Fogarty | Western Jets | Spotswood | |
23 | North Melbourne | William Walker | Sandringham Dragons | Hampton Rovers FC | |
24 | Geelong Cats | Tim Kelly | South Fremantle | Palmyra FC | |
25 | Richmond | Noah Balta | Calder Cannons | Essendon Doutta Stars | |
26 | West Coast Eagles | Liam Ryan | Subiaco | ROVER FC | |
27 | GWS Giants | Brent Daniels | Bendigo Pioneers | Nyah Nyah West Unit. | |
28 | GWS Giants | Sam Taylor | Swan Districts | Upper Swan FC | |
29 | Melbourne | Charlie Spargo | Murray Bushrangers | Albury FC | |
30 | Carlton | Tom De Koning | Dandenong Stingrays | Mount MarthaFC | |
31 | Melbourne | Bayley Fritsch | Casey Demons | Coldstream | |
32 | West Coast Eagles | Brayden Ainsworth | Subiaco | Ports FC | |
33 | Sydney Swans | Tom Mccartin | Geelong Falcons | St Joseph's | |
34 | Richmond | Matched St Kilda Bid | Patrick Naish | Northern Knights | Ivanhoe FC |
35 | St Kilda | Oscar Clavarino | Dandenong Stingrays | Berwick FC | |
36 | Geelong Cats | Charlie Constable | Sandringham Dragons | East Sandringham FC | |
37 | Melbourne | Harrison Petty | Wudinna United FC | Wudinna Unit. FC | |
38 | West Coast Eagles | Jack Petruccelle | Northern Knights | Epping | |
39 | Collingwood | Nathan Murphy | Sandringham Dragons | East Sandringham FC | |
40 | Adelaide Crows | Andrew Mcpherson | Eagles | Port District | |
41 | Brisbane Lions | Toby Wooller | Oakleigh Chargers | Camberwell FC | |
42 | Gold Coast Suns | Charlie Ballard | Sturt | Mitcham | |
43 | Brisbane Lions | Matched Fremantle Bid | Connor Ballenden | Brisbane | WestsFC |
44 | Fremantle | Hugh Dixon | Tigers FC | Kingborough Tigers FC | |
45 | Hawthorn | James Worpel | Geelong Falcons | Bell Park | |
46 | St Kilda | Ben Paton | Murray Bushrangers | Mitta Unit. FC | |
47 | Port Adelaide | Samuel Hayes | Eastern Ranges | Ferntree Gully Eagles | |
48 | Melbourne | Oskar Baker | Aspley | Wilston Grange JFC | |
49 | Essendon | Jordan Houlahan | Sturt | Mt Barker FC | |
50 | Collingwood | Matched Port Adelaide Bid | Tyler Brown | Eastern Ranges | TemplestoweFC |
51 | Port Adelaide | Kane Farrell | Bendigo Pioneers | CastlemaineFC | |
52 | Gold Coast Suns | Bidded | Brayden Crossley | Palm Beach Currumbin FC | Burleigh |
53 | Sydney Swans | Ryley Stoddart | Eastern Ranges | Blackburn | |
54 | Brisbane Lions | Bidded | Jack Parker Payne | Brisbane | Noosa FC |
55 | Gold Coast Suns | Bidded | Connor Nutting | Broadbeach FC | Broadbeach |
56 | GWS Giants | Zac Giles Langdon | Claremont | Dampier Sharks | |
57 | Geelong Cats | Gryan Miers | Geelong Falcons | Grovedale Tigers | |
58 | Port Adelaide | Jake Patmore | Claremont | Claremont | |
59 | Fremantle | Mitchell Crowden | Sturt | Meadows FC | |
60 | Port Adelaide | Joel Garner | Eastern Ranges | WandinFC | |
61 | Port Adelaide | Dom Barry | Glenelg | North Ballarat | |
62 | North Melbourne | Kyron Hayden | Subiaco | NULL | |
63 | Richmond | Benjamin Miller | Subiaco | NULL | |
64 | GWS Giants | Bidded | Nicholas Shipley | St George Dragons | CamdenFC |
65 | Fremantle | Thomas North | Eastern Ranges | Heathmont | |
66 | Essendon | Brandon Zerk-Thatcher | Sturt | Imperial FC . | |
67 | Hawthorn | Dylan Moore | Eastern Ranges | Rowville Hawks FC | |
68 | West Coast Eagles | Hamish Brayshaw | Sandringham Dragons | Hampton Rovers FC | |
69 | Fremantle | Lloyd Meek | GWV Rebels | SMW Rovers FC | |
70 | Carlton | Angus Schumacher | Bendigo Pioneers | StrathfieldsayeFC | |
71 | Hawthorn | Jackson Ross | Eastern Ranges | South BelgraveFC | |
72 | North Melbourne | Tristan Xerri | Western Jets | Caroline Springs | |
73 | Fremantle | Sam Switkowski | Box Hill Hawks | ResearchFC | |
74 | Western Bulldogs | Callum Porter | Gippsland Power | Officer FC | |
75 | Fremantle | Scott Jones | East Perth | TownsFC | |
76 | Essendon | Matt Guelfi | Claremont | Wembley FC | |
77 | North Melbourne | Billy Hartung | Hawthorn | Mount Martha FC | |
78 | Carlton | Jarrod Garlett | South Fremantle | South Fremantle |
Footnotes
1. George Harrison and Tom Petty were two of the five members of the band The Traveling Wilburys
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